Private Funeral for Sanson Father Sparks Heart-Wrenching Questions – Loved Ones Remember Him as an “Adored Dad,” but One Devastating Detail Leaves Mourners in Tears

 “Dean Field was once seen by everyone as a good man – why did he do this to the children?” That anguished question echoed through the Sanson War Memorial Hall on Saturday, as the tight-knit Manawatū community gathered for the private funeral of the 38-year-old father whose deliberate act of arson ended the lives of his three young children in a horrific house fire on November 8. Loved ones painted Dean as an “adored dad” who coached junior rugby and baked birthday cakes with lopsided icing, but one devastating detail revealed during the service – a handwritten note clutched in his hand – left mourners struggling to hold back tears, grappling with the incomprehensible chasm between the man they knew and the unimaginable tragedy he wrought.

The service, attended by 200 locals under a somber grey sky, was a tapestry of remembrance and raw grief. Dean’s sister, Emma Field, 35, stood at the podium, her voice trembling as she recounted his devotion to Mia (8), Harper (5), and Finn (3). “He was their world – the dad who built forts from blankets and chased monsters from under beds,” she said, eliciting nods from neighbors who recalled Dean’s barbecues and bedtime stories. Yet Emma’s words turned to sobs when coroner David Crerar read from the note found in Dean’s pocket: “I’m sorry, Chelsey. I can’t do this anymore. Tell the kids I love them forever.” The room fell silent, broken only by gasps and muffled cries, as the paper – smudged with soot and tears – was passed among family, a final, fractured plea from a man undone by despair.

Dean’s actions stemmed from a mental health crisis spiraling out of control. Unemployed since September after his garage closed, he battled severe depression, exacerbated by mounting debts and isolation. Toxicology cleared him of impairment, but the coroner’s report detailed how he doused the garage with 40 litres of petrol purchased hours earlier, igniting it in a suicide attempt that trapped his sleeping children upstairs. Chelsey Field, 35 and pregnant with their fourth child, was in Wellington for a conference; she arrived home to flames and a lifetime of questions. “Dean was good – he was our good man,” she said in a statement read by relative Sarah Wilkins. “Illness stole him from us, from them. Why? God, why?”

Sanson, a rural hamlet of 1,200, is a place where doors stay unlocked and children play till dusk. Dean was woven into its fabric – coaching the under-9s rugby team, volunteering at the community hall, and sharing beers at the Sanson Hotel. “He’d give you the shirt off his back,” pub owner Mick Reilly said, eyes red. “Never saw this coming.” The fire, ruled deliberate, exposed cracks in rural support: Mark sought counseling but faced a six-month waitlist. “We failed him,” Wilkins said at the vigil. The Field Family Light Fund has raised NZ$320,000 for mental health and fire safety, with a memorial garden planned on the site.

Saturday’s service blended joy and sorrow: readings from the children’s favorite books, a choir singing “You Are My Sunshine,” and lanterns released at dusk to “turn tragedy into light,” per Chelsey’s wish. As balloons rose, the note’s words hung heavy: a father’s love twisted into farewell.

Dean’s legacy is dual: the adored dad who coached with passion, and the broken man who couldn’t escape his pain. Sanson mourns, questions, and resolves: no more silent battles. For Mia, Harper, and Finn – innocent lights snuffed too soon – the community’s flame burns brighter.