OF all the disturbing incidents on I’m A Celeb: South Africa, none has troubled me more than the depth charge Scarlett Moffatt dropped at the waterfall pool earlier this week.

“Did you know,” she started, innocently enough.

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I’m A Celeb’s Gemma Collins, in the African wilds, has a designer secretCredit: Shutterstock Editorial
 

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Harry Redknapp provided the perfect celebrity antidote to the showCredit: Shutterstock Editorial
“Gemma Collins has a designer vagina?”

I did not.

But now you mention it, “designed by who?” was my first thought.

Was it the same team who did Preston bus station’s renovations?

Or was it a Blue Peter competition, with Princess Michael of Kent picking the winner?

We’ll probably never know as events have moved incredibly quickly on this second series of I’m A Celeb: South Africa, which has entertained me far more than I thought possible.

For that surprising state of affairs, I think you can blame lady luck which the ITV spin-off show has enjoyed in abundance.

Foghorning loop

The first stroke was the timing.

I’m A Celeb hasn’t quite existed in a complete television vacuum, but try finding anything decent to watch this week and you’ll quickly realise it’s nearly always the least worst option at 9pm.

ITV will probably claim the second big slice involved a lot of careful planning.

Personally, I don’t buy it, but couldn’t deny that the bookers assembled an unfathomably dense and combustible bunch of exhibitionists who, if nothing else, were always likely to provide a very satisfying hate-watch.

When discussing the line-up, it’s hard, of course, to see past Gemma Collins, or indeed around her.

She is a 24/7 nightmare who seems to spend her entire life very noisily trying to quit something: Bushtucker trials, eating challenges, diets, unsuitable men, TV shows, her entire persona.

Gemma can’t wait to get out of all of them, but is now trapped inside her own self-destructive, foghorning loop for ever.

It’s a process that involves a lot of self-pity and manipulation and she seems to have developed a happy knack of getting sympathy from thick, gullible men, who weren’t exactly in short supply inside that camp.

This was the remarkable thing about IAC:SA, though.

As hard as she tried, Gemma Collins still wasn’t half as newsworthy or unpleasant as that Bluto-ish bully David Haye, or anything like as mouthy and selfish as Jimmy Bullard who was quite prepared to end Adam Thomas’s stint on the show just because he didn’t fancy his chances on Rancid Run.

The repercussions of that explosion rumble on and with so many tiresome egomaniacs and outright gits chasing the camera for almost the entire duration, I’m A Celeb could very swiftly have become unbearable.

The final stroke of luck, though, was booking the perfect celebrity antidote in the shape of Harry Redknapp who, whether Gemma, David and Jimmy have noticed or not, is living proof that you can be both famous and well-liked by the public, just by being sweet-natured and comfortable in your own skin.

Harry also has a very enviable and innocent ability to make people laugh and provided my personal highlight of the series when it was his turn to kick someone off the show.

For there are humiliating exits and then there’s Harry Redknapp telling Seann Walsh: “Stuart, I’ve had to make a decision and I’ve chosen you.”

In a just and sane TV universe, Harry will win I’m A Celeb’s live vote tonight.

Huge problem

Even if he doesn’t, though, he’s helped create an issue with I’m A Celeb: South Africa which hasn’t just been a lot better than the last series of I’m A Celebrity . . .  Get Me Out Of Here!, it’s been better than most series of the increasingly feeble Australian version.

If the spin-off had as many viewers, ITV wouldn’t have such an obvious headache.

But it’s probably got just enough (four million) for the network to plough on with two series a year that will continue to eat away at demand until there’s nothing left of either of them.

How ITV solves a huge problem it’s created for itself?

I’m not 100 per cent sure, just as I’m still a bit in the dark about Gemma’s operation, although she did release one more staggering piece of information at the waterfall.

It took “only 40 minutes”.