While she maintains love and respect are key to her decades-long union, the actress also shares a surprising secret to her marriage of nearly 40 years

Joanna Lumley is not only a fashion icon but also a leading voice when it comes to being age positive and embracing life’s challenges.

Next up on the list of things we’re enjoying most about the legendary star is the candid way she speaks about how her marriage of nearly 40 years still remains strong.

Joanna talks about her husband, composer Stephen Barlow, with the openness and humour you’d expect, while also throwing in a few surprise admissions about their union – the pair married in 1986 after meeting at a mutual friend’s wedding.

The actress was promoting her new publication, My Book of Treasures, at the Cheltenham Literature Festival when she offered insights into her marriage during a talk she was giving.

According to The Mirror, Joanna entered into the marriage, now in its 38th year, knowing she’d spend quite a lot of time being separated from her husband through their busy jobs. “We both knew we had different lives when we married, and we both knew that we’d be apart quite a lot of the time,” she says.

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The surprising element of Joanna’s admissions is that during these busy periods in their lives, she insists that the couple “don’t need each other in each other’s lives” when they’re working. They like to keep that level of separation and find that keeping their work away from each other keeps their marriage strong.

Previously, Joanna has explained that she and her husband “can’t be on top of each other,” and much prefer to come back together after some time apart, finding this is what works for them.

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However, despite the “healthy” separation the couple like to maintain, there is another key element to their marriage success that they won’t do without: Respect.

“You’ve got to think the world of them. You’ve got to think they’re the cat’s pyjamas, because if you don’t, it’s got no chance.” Joanna says of marriage in general.

This carries on from comments the star made recently during an episode of Dish from Waitrose podcast, where she joked that actor Adrian Edmondson gave her the key to marriage success years ago, “Just don’t get divorced!” she laughs.

Joking aside, Joanna goes on to say that if there’s ever any “contempt in your body” for your partner, then it’s pretty much game over. “You’ve got to adore them,” she says of anyone you keep in your life romantically.

Actress Joanna Lumley has kept private notebooks, filled with her favourite writings, thoughts and quotes. Now, she shares those with her fans in her Book of Treasures to reveal some of her many and varied jottings and musings.

There’s also an element of looking inside yourself when it comes to being happy in your relationship, according to Joanna, especially when it comes to forgiveness.

The actress urges people to understand they have “just as many shortfalls” as they think they see in their partner, a level of introspection that isn’t always easy to undertake.

To conclude, Joanna suggests the more conventional advice of making sure the time you have with your partner is time spent making them feel precious and loved – something that can sometimes feel forgotten when relationships are difficult or stuck.