The commitment ceremony implodes on Sunday night when one Married At First Sight wife tries to destroy another with Officeworks-printed evidence before unleashing an insult so obscene that Channel 9 bleeps every syllable — rendering it impossible to type in this recap without breaking the asterisk button on my keyboard.

The best revenge plans always involve a trip to Officeworks. After all, you can’t keep grudges if they’re not written down on appropriate stationery and archived neatly in an accordion folder that you keep in a secret out-of-town location, lest your house is burnt down by the enemy you’re scheming against.

The toolkit for every great villain should contain: A giant cork board to pin your rivals’ faces to. A thick red pen to draw crosses through photos of their faces when you finally destroy them. And, of course, a really big wholesale-sized bucket of Mentos.

After Wednesday’s dinner party where Gia vowed to expose Bec’s “pathological” text messages, she has been sitting on a cache of screenshots, threatening to detonate them at tonight’s commitment ceremony. But here’s the thing about Gia: she’s calculated. She doesn’t want to be the one holding the smoking gun — after all, she keeps promising the experts that she will no longer be involved in any mean girl drama.

So, she forwards the screenshots to Juliette.

Juliette studies the evidence. The messages apparently show Bec using the C-word about other contestants — which contradicts her dismay at being called a C-word herself by Juliette at last week’s retreat.

Juliette knows immediately what must be done. This calls for a pilgrimage to Officeworks. These messages need to be printed and collated — perhaps even laminated for maximum dramatic impact.

She wants visual aids for when she takes down Bec at the commitment ceremony. The only thing better than acting self-righteous in public? Acting self-righteous WITH PROPS.