“I have some good news for you, J-Dog. We’re back on all the stations,” the “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host adds

Jimmy Kimmel is back — and he’s not pulling any punches. The Jimmy Kimmel Live! host celebrated his triumphant return to Nexstar and Sinclair’s stations this week by unleashing a fiery monologue aimed directly at Vice President JD Vance, who recently trashed the late-night comedian’s ratings.

Kimmel, who kicked off his Brooklyn shows with a packed audience, gleefully announced that his program is now reaching “100% of the country tonight.” But the celebratory mood quickly shifted into a razor-sharp roast session after he replayed a clip of Vance’s interview with Laura Ingraham, in which the VP mocked him as “talentless” with “not very good” numbers.

“Vice President Maybelline was making the rounds defending his boss Donald Trump and FCC chairman Brendan Carr with a fairytale even a five-year-old wouldn’t believe,” Kimmel sneered, before dropping the night’s most savage punchline:

👉 “I have some good news for you, J-Dog. We’re back on all the stations. Every home, every bar, every strip club, and every prison in America. But sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your bulls–t. Go on.”

JD Vance takes swing at Jimmy Kimmel with "woke thing" jab

The crowd roared as Kimmel doubled down, shredding the administration’s so-called “ratings” as “somewhere between a hair in your salad and chlamydia.”

And if that wasn’t enough, he fired off a beauty-industry zinger that instantly lit up social media:
💄 “In three-and-a-half years, I’m not the one who’s gonna be doing mascara tutorials on YouTube. How did we wind up with a president and vice president who wear more makeup than Kylie Jenner and Lady Gaga combined?”

The comeback moment was more than symbolic — it was a ratings juggernaut. Kimmel’s highly anticipated Sept. 23 return drew a staggering 6.3 million viewers, proving his audience hasn’t gone anywhere despite weeks of station blackouts.

Fans are buzzing: Was this just the opening salvo in what could be a brutal Kimmel–Vance feud? And will the White House respond to the late-night host’s scorching takedown?

One thing is certain: late-night just got a whole lot louder.