A war of words has erupted between Jimmy Kimmel and Ted Cruz following the Texas senator’s comments about the U.S. Army being “emasculated.”
The late-night host and the politician have been embroiled in a feud for a long time with the pair often trading vicious barbs over their differing politics.
This weekend, Cruz praised the Russian military in a move that opened the Republican up to criticism and Kimmel certainly did not hold back in his Monday night monologue.
For context, Cruz retweeted a side-by-side comparison of a Russian military recruitment ad and a recent U.S. Army advertisement that highlighted the real-life story of Cpl. Emma Malonelord.
“Perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea….” he tweeted before later backtracking and saying Democrats “and woke media are trying to turn [the military] into pansies.”
Kimmel then explained the drama to his Monday night audience.
“Ted Cruz, who four years ago took permanent residence up the a** of a man who beat him in every election by calling his wife ugly and slandering his elderly father—says this is emasculating,” Kimmel joked.
“Primarily because Ted Cruz is not human—he’s a moist, gelatinous tubeworm whose elastic band pants are filled with an inky discharge every time he speaks.”
“Maybe this would be more Ted’s speed,” Kimmel continued while showing a fake ad of Cruz heading to Cancun during the Texas Freeze with the caption: “Army. Be All You Cancan Be.”
“Army. Be All You Cancun Be. Right?” Kimmel continued. “I’ll tell you something, for a guy named Ted, he gives the worst talks.”
Shortly after the episode aired, Cruz hit back at Kimmel on Twitter and challenged the comedian to a basketball rematch.

Ted Cruz and Jimmy Kimmel | Getty Images/Getty Images
“@JimmyKimmelLive keeps talking crap. Really tough guy,” Cruz wrote.
“Here’s a reminder, when we played one-on-one, I kicked his ass. He has to live with that…forever. Rematch, punk?”
Cruz shared a link to a charity match the two played in 2018 for Texas Children’s Hospital and Generation One, a Houston-based education non-profit.
However, Kimmel has since hit back with a more cutting response, writing: “Oh Ted… you get so sad after you masturbate.”
Just last week, Kimmel hit out at Cruz for a tweet about Joe Biden and fast-food chain Chick-fil-A, calling the Senator a “Chick-fil-A-hole.”
“Right, he’s killing us one zesty buffalo at a time,” Kimmel joked on his show. “Poor Ted Cruz, he’s still looking for something to distract us from fleeing to Cancun.”
News
Jimmy Kimmel “Welcomes” Marjorie Taylor Greene to Reality After Trump Fallout
After Marjorie Taylor Greene (MTG) unexpectedly announced her resignation from Congress, Jimmy Kimmel didn’t miss the chance to turn the…
HILARIOUS! Jimmy Kimmel Is Touched by the Trump-Mamdani Bromance — Fans Can’t Stop Laughing
Just days after Zohran Mamdani, the young and talented Indo-American legislator, scored a surprising victory in the local election, Jimmy…
BREAKING! Rep. Jasmine Crockett Mulls U.S. Senate Run — Decision Coming by Thanksgiving
Democratic U.S. Rep. Jasmine Crockett, of Dallas, told CBS News Texas she has a big decision to make before Thanksgiving: either…
‘A Mess’ — Fox News’ Andy McCarthy Blasts Trump Admin’s ‘Incoherent’ Case Against James Comey
Scroll back up to restore default view. Fox News’ Andy McCarthy characterized the Trump administration’s case against former FBI Director James Comey as “a…
90 Day Fiancé Star Chuck Potthast Pass3s Away at 64 — Family and Fans Mourn
Chuck Potthast.Credit : Chuck Potthast/Instagram Chuck Potthast, father of 90 Day Fiancé star Elizabeth Castravet, has died. He was 64. “Two weeks ago, tragedy…
ELIZABETH SMART SPEAKS OUT — Heartbreak Over Virginia Giuffre’s Tragic D3ath
Like so many others, Elizabeth Smart was deeply shaken when she learned that Virginia Giuffre had died by suicide in April. Opening up to…
End of content
No more pages to load






