While this coming week marks 30 years since the Port Arthur massacre, for many of those who were there that day in 1996 it feels as though not a day has passed.
Cathy Goodman, then 28 years old, had just left the Broad Arrow Cafe with her music group when the gunfire began.
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“I’ll never forget it. Every day I wake up … it’s the 28th of April 1996, it’s the first thing I think of,” she told 7NEWS.
Lone gunman Martin Bryant first opened fire in the cafe at the historical site in Tasmania with a semi-automatic rifle, killing 12 people in 15 seconds before further shootings in the nearby gift shop.
Just prior to the shooting Goodman said she had an eerie feeling and a sense she was going to “bump into somebody that I hadn’t seen my entire life.”
By the end of Bryant’s rampage he had killed 35 people including two young children, making it Australia’s worst mass shooting.
Goodman narrowly missed becoming a victim herself, with a single shot missing her.
“Why not me? Why the children?,” she said.
“I struggled with that for a very long time.”

Goodman would struggle with the horrific events for many years to come, at one point attempting to take her own life.
However, a simple but life-changing interaction with a horse ultimately changed her mind.
“I was on my way out to take my own life. There was a horse that’s hip bones were nearly poking through its skin and it was just looking very sad in a paddock and I went up to him and I looked him in the eye and there was something in those eyes,” Goodman said.
“He followed me to my car and this horse hollered, whinnied at me, it went right through the middle of me and I thought ‘you ratbag’.
“I had about $320 in the bank, I bought him and a bag of (hay) chaff. That horse guards my soul to this day.”


Anita Bingham was working at the Port Arthur tearoom at the time. She was just 17.
As the shots rang out she sheltered inside with her customers, later honoured with a bravery award for her actions.
Like Goodman, the memories of that terrifying day remain.
“I actually had a nightmare the other night and its one of the worst nightmares I think I’ve had in a very long time,” she told 7NEWS.
“It’s him coming after me.”

Bryant was captured the next morning after an 18-hour stand-off with police.
Twelve days later, Prime Minister John Howard announced a suite of reforms, including a ban on automatic and semi-automatic long weapons and a buyback that resulted in the destruction of 650,000 guns.
Music continues to play a central role in Goodman’s life and has helped her through her darkest days.
On Anzac Day this year she directed the chorus at commemorations in Ballina on the NSW north coast.

Both Goodman and Bingham are united by the sentiment that Australia must continue to learn from the massacre, and never forget those who died.
“I hope in the future we keep working on getting rid of guns because when they’re in wrong people’s hands, look at what it can do,” Bingham said.
The 30th anniversary on Tuesday will be marked at the site with a quiet commemoration.
Bryant remains behind bars serving 35 life sentences.
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